Two years and counting…August 7, 2010
Two years ago, on August 7, 2008, I boarded a jet and flew to Los Angeles. That day left such an imprint on me that when I read my Day 1 LA365 blog entry, I can feel every moment in my body like it was yesterday. The flight. The hill. The sign.
The journey to the present moment has taken some truly astonishing and life-altering turns. As I ponder what the past two years have brought, I know without a doubt I am in exactly the right place at exactly the right time.
Tonight I am part of a production opening in LA called “Becoming Norman.” I’m running lights and sound. It’s a beautiful one-man show written by and starring my friend Norman Dixon – one of MANY astonishing and inspiring people I have met in Los Angeles. His show explores many subjects and ideas, and the one that resonates most strongly with me touches on the very reason I moved to Los Angeles in the first place: finding your voice, listening to your heart and stepping into your authentic Self.
There are plenty of places in the script that I can relate to creatively, artistically and personally – including lines I know I have said almost verbatim in my own life. One of these moments has stuck with me more than others in recent days, though. It is near the end, when Norman realizes he has been holding back his creative Self almost his entire life, and how so many of his friends didn’t even know he was a singer or performer. That is exactly how I feel.
Even after all this time, I know there are many people here – including those who have known me almost the entire two years – who have no idea what my background is, what I am truly capable of, or even what I want to accomplish here in Tinseltown. It makes me a little sad if I think about it too long. But I don’t. Because I know who I am. We should all be so lucky to have reminders like Norman. Sometimes during the show, I am in the lighting booth about to bust out of my own skin because Norman’s story and performance is so compelling.
I am reminded of Mama Rose breaking down at the end of Gypsy (please, like you didn’t know a Broadway reference was coming): “What I got in me… what I been holding down inside of me. Oh, if I ever let it out, there wouldn’t be signs big enough! There wouldn’t be lights bright enough! Here she is, boys! Here she is, world!” And, well… we all know the rest of that number…
Yes, some amazing things have transpired in my life in LA. But there is a shift happening in this moment in my life. In my work. In my thinking. There will be no more fear or doubt or holding back. Hope y’all are ready. I Am!
Next time: how my mouth has become a metaphor for my life