SATURDAY
18 October 2008
Today I decided my world was no longer complete without seeing Beverly Hills Chihuahua. I really wanted an escape of some kind… to turn off my brain for a while, laugh, smile and recharge my batteries. I ventured into Universal City because I knew at Universal Studios there was a huge cineplex showing just about every movie out right now.
One thing I can’t stand is missing the beginning of a movie. If I miss even 10 seconds of a film’s start, I am distracted the entire time. I’d rather not even be there. It took longer than expected to get to Universal, so it was 6:35 by the time I arrived for the 6:30 showing. Imagine my inner turmoil. It was agonizing. I’d come this far though, and figured with all the previews, I was probably safe to go. Popcorn was, unfortunately, out of the question at this point. DANG!
The $12 dollar ticket price sent me into borderline cardiac arrest. Holy crap, people. I think I left my body for a moment. My first thought was, “That’s just one ticket, right? Not two?!” but I was in such a state of sticker shock, I can’t remember if I asked that out loud or not. I was reminded of the value of those glass partitions in ticket windows. I’m not a violent person, but had it not been there, I think I may have slapped that cashier into next year. Yeah yeah, don’t blame the messenger, I know. I paid Satan’s toll and walked away, counting to 10 and clutching my chest as I found an empty seat in the theater.
As for the movie… well… it’s Beverly Hills Chihuahua. It’s Disney. It was silly, funny, escapist, warm-hearted and every other adjective you can think of to describe any Disney family movie. There were themes of friendship, loyalty, love, bravery, loss and finding your own bark. Yes, I got all of this from a movie with talking chihuahuas who wear Vera Wang couture and Armani sunglasses. One could even go so far as to note the satire/social commentary about the ridiculous lengths people go to for their dogs. Seaweed wraps, Italian leather booties, Harry Winston collars… people are CRAZY about their pets, which is how I think it should be. They give so much and ask for so little in return.
What’s ahead may be considered spoilerish, just so you know. No major plot surprises like telling you what happens in “The Crying Game” or revealing the twist of “The Sixth Sense,” but if you aren’t aware before going to the theater that this movie is going to have a happy ending, well… might I suggest a trip to “the happiest place on Earth” for a primer.
In a nutshell, our protagonist chihuahua, Chloe (voiced by Drew Barrymore), gets lost in Mexico and is trying to find her way back to Beverly Hills. There are scenes where she’s alone and scared, wandering through Mexico, sleeping under a bench, etc. See, this is devastating to me. I’m pretty sure I was the only teary-eyed geeb in the theater at this point. There was another scene where an emotionally scarred German Shepherd named Delgado, who befriended Chloe, mistakenly thinks she has betrayed him, and that put me over the edge. This was when I started to wonder if, perhaps, there was something missing from my life. I was wishing I’d stopped for popcorn, because maybe the salt would have dried me up a bit. Seriously, I was a wreck. I thought I heard the 8-year-old next to me say, “Mommy, the crying man scares me.”
The friendship between Chloe and Delgado is a central theme in the movie. There’s a moment where he jumps from the train they’re on and she jumps out after him. Knowing the train’s destination would have helped her on her journey home, he asked “Why did you jump out, too?” and her response was that she’d made a promise to stay with him and she was keeping it. WATERWORKS!! Later in the movie, after much folderol and shenanigans, when everything is on it’s way back to normal, he says “I’ve never had a friend like you.” Aaaaaand, I’m bawling. I’m misty now just thinking about it. Seriously, is this normal? Do I need medication?
There’s another chihuahua in the movie named Papi. He’s the one on the movie poster, and he’s Chloe’s owner’s landscaper’s dog. Follow that? Papi is deeply in love with Chloe. Through the magic of movie convolution, he makes his way to Mexico to help search for her. Toward the end and during the film’s climax, Chloe is thrown, hits a rock and is knocked doggie-unconscious. Papi thinks she is dead, and delivers a monologue over her temporarily lifeless little body. I don’t remember it word for word, but essentially he is saying without her, his life is meaningless. “You are the rain that gives life to my flowers. You are the sun that warms my soul.” That kind of thing, only better. During this, I am total and complete faucet. I half-expected a theater employee to arrive with a “Caution: Wet Floor” sign for the area around me.
But come on! Only the most bitter & angry people wouldn’t want to hear someone express adoration so sweetly. The world can be so cynical and nasty – watched any CNN lately? – and it was nice to see a tender and touching expression of love, even if it was from one talking chihuahua to another. Maybe I just need a dog, or a boyfriend, or both…
It’s unlikely Beverly Hills Chihuahua will go down in movie history as one of the great cinematic treasures of our time. Despite my internal devastation throughout those 90 minutes, the movie IS actually a comedy and I enjoyed it. On Christmas Day, you’ll find me at another dog movie, Marley & Me, and I’m already preparing myself for serious emotional damage. I fully expect Jennifer Aniston (who’s in the movie) to deliver a case of Kleenex to me personally.
LA365 